30.6.15

senseless glory

It's been flipped upside down, we see it exactly opposite to true reality. 

God is to us a tool for circumstance, rather than circumstance being a tool for God. 

Most of us pursue the betterment of our human lives under the pretense of wanting God. 

Ann Voskamp talked about God-users and God-adorers, and it's too easy to surrender one morning and throw away your cross the same evening when you're feeling happy again. 

It's like our shield of defense always turns out to be the Enemy's own sword against us. Our skewed perspective a guise of making us higher but really only a slow sink into fire. 

Like we're the life version of Monopoly and bankrupcy is death and the whole aim of the game is to get more and invest more and survive by the skin of your teeth and then turn around and make big profit and play good trade and sometimes you're played a bad card and the dice throw doubles three times but that's okay because with all the hotels on the board, jail time is actually mercy. 

Running is easier when you've got headphones with the music up loud. Distraction makes it easier. And we are so, so distracted. We find purpose in our doing because our doing enables us make a contribution. 

I don't know God. And as long I want to know God in order to make sense of chaos in life, I'm not going to know God. 

Our natural response to God is that we can use God. It's only natural that we're fixed on the natural. 

I can't stand it. I can't stand that half the time I don't even realise that I only want God for what I can get from Him. I am so fixated on this earth that I can't fathom a use for God outside of myself. 

I guess this is because God doesn't exist to be used. That believe it or not, God didn't actually make us with the intent on being used by us. With the hope of being necessary to us in our daily ventures with society. 

It make come as a shock to hear that God doesn't exist for us. That His greatest motivation isn't for us to make something of ourselves. It's easy to understand why this comes as such a shock. After all, if I'm going to make an eight-layered birthday cake, it's obviousy in order for everyone to go up to that cake and tell it that it did a supurb job rising in the oven. And then come up and yell at me if one of the layers starts to sink into the cream. 

Flippin flop who do we think we ARE? We're obsessed with ourselves! Aaaaah! 

:::

I clean tear stains off glasses lenses. My life is meaningless because I think of it in terms of me. It's been like this line that begins at False purpose, and then Everything is meaningless, and then True purpose, at least I'm hoping this is how it falls, that it doesn't freeze forever at meaningless. I don't want anything anymore, I don't want anything but God. 

I just want God. 

"We all just want God. God is everything we want. We all want to not be afraid and we all want to be loved and we all want to know that what we're doing matters... that life matters. Everyone wants God. We're made for God. We weren't made to be served by God. He made us for Himself. Only, we insist on the illusion. I don't know why we insist on it... maybe because the illusion glorifies us, whereas God glorifies Himself, and that is why we insist on the illusion. Because we want the satisfaction that's in God, we want all the good parts -- but we want to be glorified, we want to use God to better ourselves, we don't want to adore God for who He is. Because that lowers us. That makes us nothing. That's the reason we don't want God. Because it reduces us to what we really are, and God to who He is. That's why we feed on the illusion, because it glorifies us, that's why."



1 comment:

  1. Emii, it's because you want to know God so badly, so deeply, so initimately--that you will have one of the best relationships with him. You're right. When the illusion glorifies us, and we've seen so much of that lately, we can't be seeing God. This was a powerful post, and I appreciate what you wrote. Thank you.

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