6.11.12

what's life, like really

I view this world in first-person. 
I didn't realize that's what it was. Something's been nagging me lately, day after day, and I had no idea. I was mulling over this, and then I just shut up and sat there, sat for a moment. And those words made their way over to me.

I view this world in first person. When we read a book, everything is about the character whom is doing the narrating. And we all have our lives; they're centred around ourselves. Every little thing is about how this affects me, how this makes me feel, what I think about that.

And I don't want to see life like this anymore. Quite frankly, I'm tired of it. I really am. I'm tired of wondering what people think of me and how I should act and what to say and such. And if I do that, how will that affect this? And if I say that, will I have to do this? It's not right. It's like some prison I'm locked in. The Prison of... what's the world? Self-absorption? I don't know. Only caring about myself? But it's something more than that. Something more shallow and heartless. It's like... everything is a problem. Something has to be solved in everything. There's a worry for everything. There's no peace.

I'm just curious, God; does it have to be like this? Surely it doesn't. Isn't it possible... for us to see the world as You do? ...how do you see us, God? The world? What do you see?

dare you to move, switchfoot

Pursue the things over which Christ presides. Don’t shuffle along, eyes to the ground, absorbed with the things right in front of you. Look up, and be alert to what is going on around Christ—that’s where the action is. See things from his perspective. -- Colossians 3, MSG

There's so many words. I just want to know Truth. But it's hard to sift through it all, to know what's what. There's one place, though, that does speak truth. The whole thing is Truth! And I guess I was shuffling along, eyes to the ground... scuffing my feet, doing the same maths equations over and over, and really what am I trying to do? 

dear Jesus, save me. that's all, really. 
and really, that's everything. 
i want to fix my eyes on Jesus, like that verse says. 
i really do. 
Jesus, 
open my eyes. 
please.

http://girlz4godrok.blogspot.com.au/2012/05/more-like-falling-in-love.html
i just read that post. it seems i need it. maybe you do, too.

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