to those who wait by bethany dillon
I found my word. You know how at the start of the year every blogger on the planet had their 'word'? I was just sitting there, thinking, "Eek, I need a word!" I waited.
Ironic, I suppose. My word is wait. I was listening to a song and then another song. I was calling God's name while staring at a bunch of beautiful clouds and playing my guitar and writing a song and scrawling down words from my day, my life, my heart.
I was getting ahead. Trying to figure out what to say and what to do and what to make people think of me, failing at every turn. I was stuck, I was falling, face-first. I didn't know how to be good, how to be better, how to be someone who deserved to have God love them.
The word 'wait' always has confused me. Like, what am I supposed to do, stand still for a decade while I wait till God finds me?
[wait] to be in readiness for; be reserved for;await
I'm just going to let that definition speak for itself, since I have no words. I get it. I see it, I hear it. I went to dictionary.com and I wasn't actually expecting an answer besides "to look forward to eagerly."
I don't have to be anything. I've got to stop running ahead and trying to figure out what on earth I'm doing here. It's not like it's some puzzle on a Nancy Drew game. Hey, if I stopped telling myself that I know everything and just asked God, just gave Him my heart and my words and my life...
I saw Taylor Swift live, in concert. An amazing experience, she was awesome. I screamed my head off. And then Lucas Till came on the screen for the You Belong with Me music video and I screamed even louder. And then she performed Safe and Sound and I went a bit mental.
But my point is, before she played Fifteen, she said something.
"When I was fifteen, I thought I knew everything. Who I was going to marry, where I was going to live, what my life was going to be like... I. Know. Nothing."
We don't know. We live to love. But you know what? We have to trust God. And when He tells us something... we gotta listen. I gotta listen.
"Waiting, waiting, waiting on the world to change." Yeah, it's got the word. Waiting.