when i grow up

listening to: innocent, by stellerkart

Well, that's kinda funny. I wrote the title "when i grow up" and thought, "Hmm, that sounds familiar." So I google those words, adding on Girlz 4 God -- and there it is. This post.

So I think that I'll keep writing this one, because, um... I'm not really getting the point of the other one. :P

Oh it's summer it's so beautiful. Well, as my friends may remind me, it's actually still spring -- for another months and a half. But I say it's Summer because it's so SUNNY and BLUE and WARM and just wonderful

...and i think to myself, what a wonderful world. -- it's a wonderful world

 Have you ever just paused in your planning and worrying and wondering and pondering and thinking and* just said these words? "Dear God, I just give this to You. I trust You."

I did, the other day. It's like I don't have to worry about if this will work out, or if I'm doing this wrong or if I should say this or do that -- because you know how things sometimes just seem right, like it's the right time?

I reckon that's God. I mean, I know.

Living this life with God, it's not just that He's right here with me, holding my hand -- He also has this purpose for my life. I've been reading Psalm 119 today -- and David was just so... well, he really did know that God had this beautiful way of life for him to live.

By your words I can see where I'm going;
      they throw a beam of light on my dark path. 

   I've committed myself and I'll never turn back 

      from living by your righteous order.

 Everything's falling apart on me, God;
      put me together again with your Word.

   Festoon me with your finest sayings, God;
      teach me your holy rules.

   My life is as close as my own hands,
      but I don't forget what you have revealed.

   The wicked do their best to throw me off track,
      but I don't swerve an inch from your course.

   I inherited your book on living; it's mine forever—
      what a gift! And how happy it makes me!

   I concentrate on doing exactly what you say—
      I always have and always will.

 And should I wander off like a lost sheep—seek me!
      I'll recognize the sound of your voice.

So as it turns out, I guess the title is sort of irrelevant, after all. But that's okay. Because what I was originally going to say is that there's really no such thing as, "When I grow up," is there? Each moment we become older. We learn more, discover, dream.

When I grow up is now, isn't it? Following God is my life. Walking this path that He's got for me -- I drew this picture this morning, and Part A was this really wide road, and this person in about ten different places. See, they've been spending their life moving around this road -- but never going anywhere.

And then Part B. It's the narrow path -- and there's another person. There's really no way of knowing what's up ahead, but you know what? They don't have to freak out. Because God is holding their hand -- and because God knows what's up ahead.

God will protect you. God loves you. He'll show you the way -- don't complicate things. You know those times when things suddenly just seem so simply or clear or just make sense? Maybe it's because I can feel Summer in the air. I don't know -- but I do know that I trust God and that He's holding my fear and I've just got to take a deep breath and let Go. Let God.

*Haha, remember that grammatical rule of not using 'and' more than once -- you use a comma instead? Um, I think I've been over that one for a while. I love using lots of 'and's'. :P

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